Friday, September 29, 2006

Halloween T-Shirts

I like this one the best:

Dumbrella

Thursday, September 28, 2006

...

*grumbles* Bill Clinton woke me from a nice nap. No, I am not voting Angelides. I hate those automated recordings.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

I am 84% Socialist

You Are 16% Capitalist, 84% Socialist

You see a lot of injustice in the world, and you'd like to see it fixed.
As far as you're concerned, all the wrong people have the power.
You're strongly in favor of the redistribution of wealth - and more protection for the average person.

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Friday, September 22, 2006

Foto-Novelas 2

Independent Lens: Foto-Novelas 2

This was so totally awesome.

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Update

Things are okay now. Classes begin tomorrow.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Dark confessions

And while I'm on the topic of my shortcomings and dark thoughts, here are some more:

I can't handle normal life. Getting a job, paying bills, and being responsible scare me to death. And when I'm scared like that I try to shut down. I can't even imagine living a normal life--working 9 to 5 in some banal job (I can't even think of a job that I would enjoy, stay motivated, and be able to do), going to parties, caring about the state of the front lawn. Sometimes I think that I'll end up being a burden on somebody: they'll go to work, pay the bills, mow the lawn. Or I'll think that I should be placed in some mental health program where I get a couple rooms, go to group therapy on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and get that wish of not being responsible. Of course I would be bored and the only high point in my life would be the banana pudding for dessert on Saturday nights, but I'd be safe and wouldn't be forced to take risks that end up with me knowing I'm weaker and inferior to other people.

I try to do and accept things that everybody else must do and accept. But sometimes I screw up. And sometimes I screw up majorly.

I am to blame for this housing situation. I missed the meeting where returning students were supposed to pick where they wanted to live. I thought it was only a "choose who you want to be roommates with" kind of thing, and since I'm so antisocial I didn't know anybody, so I didn't go, thinking I'd just be put in J building again with some random person. I could deal with that.

When I found out that I had been wait-listed for housing, I again didn't do anything. I even lied to Curtis, saying I had called the housing office, when he kept nagging me and made me promise to. I didn't. I thought that since I had screwed up that I should handle whatever housing consequences there would be. I didn't want to admit that I had screwed up and I didn't want to go to Housing and pull the "Emotionally Retarded" card to get preferential treatment.

And here I am with the weakness. Turns out I can't handle the consequences. Turns out I'm going to have to try to pull the Anxiety Disorder card out anyway. And I've made my situation a hell of a lot harder to deal with. And it's quite possible that things can't be changed to my satisfaction. Something I know I deserve, but am unsure whether my weakness will allow.

So I don't know what will happen. I don't even know what I want to happen. All I know is that I'm back at home for a couple days until I can go to the Disability Resources center and try to change things.

(Which, by the way, means that my parents' vacation to Oregon-they were supposed to leave tomorrow-is on an indefinite delay. As if I didn't feel shitty enough.)

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Failure and weakness

Mission: Move-In was a failure.

Correction. *I* am a failure.

I hate being so weak. Dad and I moved in all my stuff to my new room, then I got sick. (Anxiety sick, which feels just as bad as "real" sick.) So I escaped back home. My stuff is still in that room, only partially unpacked, and I'm going to try to get things changed with Housing and the Disability Services.

I hate being high-maintainance. I try to live up to the standards of "normal" un-anxiety disorder people, and I fail. So now I don't feel like I can live in a residence hall with communal coed bathrooms. And now I have to admit that I'm "special" and am going to try to pull strings to get special treatment. It feels like cheating and admitting inferiority at the same time.

I cried for about two straight hours. I hate the way I am sometimes.

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Friday, September 15, 2006

*snore*

Just sat through New World. Synopsis:
Smith (Farrell): Mumblemumble. Mumbly mum-mumble.
Marie's translation: "I am in an art film. My lines are uber-poetic. It doesn't matter whether you can understand me or not."
Pocahontas (Kilcher): O, Mother, show me the path I must follow. I must borrow your strength because I have none of my own.
Marie's translation: "I am the only female eye candy in this film! My career is so going to take off now!
Rolfe (Bale): Mumblemumble. She would stay silent for hours at a time.
Marie's translation: I too can monologue! My character is the rebound guy. Watch me angst.

For me, New World is Master and Commander (i.e. boring, confusing, unintelligible) just with better scenery.

But here is something that didn't put me to sleep: Dino Comics #846. I'd totally start doing this, except I only write checks maybe three times a year and to the university.

I'm tired. Stayed up past two last night, packed more stuff today, and am moving back onto campus tomorrow.

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Monday, September 11, 2006

Comedy Goldmine

Something Awful: Motivational posters for super villains

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Friday, September 08, 2006

Ikea Product or Lord of the Rings Character?

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Ikea Product or Lord of the Rings Character?

OK Go's "A Million Ways"

I know its a little late to be jumping on the OK Go bandwagon (ooh, a pun!), but this has got to be the most awsomest music video ever!



Some reasons why it's so awesome:
-the dancing
-the song
-the men
-the band put it up as a viral video on purpose (anti-major record companies' way of doing things)
-it proves that teenage Japanese girl pop singers don't have to be the only ones with good dance moves

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Sunday, September 03, 2006

Another random amusement

This always makes me laugh.

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Wow, I am such a sci fi geek

Joseph "Maxnmona" Fink's suggested plot for Lord of the Rings is the plot for Snow Crash, a novel by Neal Stephenson.

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