Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Faux news

Yay! I finally got back in touch with my buddy William! Hi Vilhelm!

I picked up the latest issue of the Fishrap the other day. There's this great article in "The Faux" section (fake news). Since they still don't have a website up, I'll reproduce it here.

Bush to withdraw troops from Iraq:
Cites UCSC bathroom graffiti as catalyst

By Man Dirk

In a shocking move today, President Bush announced his call for the immediate withdrawal of American troops from Iraq. The president said he was spurred to make the surprising decision after reading graffiti on a bathroom wall at the University of California, Santa Cruz, which urged him to do so.

"For three years now, I've been determined that America should stay the course in Iraq," Bush said at a White House press conference. "But when I read that message scrawled on the wall over the urinal in the third floor McHenry Library bathroom that said 'U.S. Out of Iraq,' I knew I had made a mistake."

"We may never know the name of the patriot who made this bold statement for justice and freedom," Bush added, "but we do know that his resolve was strong. After all, he used a Sharpie, and that ink does not run."

Bush also announced that his administration would soon pursue campaigns to free Palestine, investigate its own possible involvement with the planning of the September 11 terrorist attacks, legalize marijuana and research Stussy.

(Fish Rap Live!, Earth Day issue, 2006)(This article was accompanied by a picture of said urinal and graffiti.)

Bathroom graffiti annoys me. It's pointless. Writing "US out of Iraq" in a bathroom stall ain't ever gonna get results. I like the quote about Sharpie ink never running. But WTH does Stussy have to do with anything?

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