Sunday, January 12, 2003

War and Death

Fuck. I usually don't begin conversations that way, but this has turned into a pretty shitty evening.

This afternoon my best friend Marie got a phone call from her boyfriend. He's on alert to go to Iraq. I don't know if she is going to call his mother for news tonight or tomorrow, and I don't know whether he is going for sure or not. I haven't really met Robert since they've gotten together after graduation and before he left for the Marines. It's so stupid that parents, spouses, and children have to see loved ones go off to fight! Such a fucking waste of lives! My feelings about my country aren't nearly strong enough for me to go sign up to risk my life.

Even more emotional for me is that tomorrow our old dog Ace is going to be put down. We've had him since I was about four, so he's around 14 or 15 (people) years old. These last two or three years he's had arthritis, a painful cyst on his eyelid, and other problems. He has to take pain medication every day. Ace is also senile and it's hard for him to lay down. It's just hit me in the past 20 minutes and I'm crying as I type. I remember growing up with him and he's always been a constant (sometimes annoying) part of my family's life.

War and Death... wouldn't that be enough to sadden anyone's evening?

I don't know when I will write again. My usual computer is tweaking out and switching to god-damned "Safe Mode" so I'll either be abstaining from technology or battling my sister for the keyboard. Either way it won't be pretty. But I will check my email at least one a day. Most likely more, since I am compulsive about my email.

I'm gonna go cry now.

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